Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox
I think the danger in any sort of attachment to a T is that the caring can seem so real. But it is always an act. In the isolation of therapy, it's easy to lose perspective and to feel as though this person is in your life.
My T wanted me gone as quickly as possible once I threatened what she really cared about -- her self image and necessary delusions, her practice, her feelings. Suddenly I was reminded that I meant little to her. A mere client.
It's the experience of a personal relationship confounded with that of a business consultation. Betrayal and abandonment are easily rationalized, while still inflicting plenty of harm. Business is business. It is what it is. The customer is always wrong.
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The caring often is real, although I think the definition of caring seems to vary a lot from person to person. Regardless, the reality is that every relationship has its limits. That is true with friendships, lovers, family, professionals, mentors, etc.. When/if something doesn't work out everything changes and most people will ultimately do what is in their own best interest (at least partly). Obviously the nature of the relationship will dictate what most people will do, with family and lovers probably being the most self sacrificing and the everyone else less so. I am not saying your T didn't do things wrong, because she did. Still, she ultimately did what she had to do - protect her client from any more harm and protecting herself from ruining her career. She could have done much more bfore getting to that point, but she doesn't sound as if she's very competent. Still, that doesn't mean the care she expressed wasn't genuine. You didn't experience it that way and that is what matters, but other people can't control how someone else will perceive them. And even when someone genuinely cares, it is still human nature to take care of one's own needs first.