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Originally Posted by guilloche
 Thanks! I'm glad it made you laugh!
And, I'm sorry that those women rejected you. That sucks, but as you're probably aware, says much more about them than you.
Honestly, sometimes it's just not a good fit. There are some groups of people that won't like me, and I won't like them... we just don't fit well. It's actually a really good thing if I can figure this out on the first meeting, so I don't waste time trying to fit in someplace where I'm not going to enjoy the activities or have the same values... you know what I mean?
It's interesting, I took a class in school on "designing online communities". One of the issues we discussed was whether people should have total freedom to choose their online names. When you open that up, some people pick *really* offensive names. Some of them are just socially inappropriate (i.e. you wouldn't want young kids to see them) but some are hateful. And some are just stupid.
My teacher argued that people who choose offensive names are doing you a favor. It's like a big glowing sign that says, "Avoid me! I'm a jerk!"
Sometimes I find that it helps to think about things like your meeting experience like that. Maybe they weren't actually terrible people, but... maybe it was enough of a mismatch (and as I said, it would be for me!) that in a weird way, they did you a favor by showing you that, upfront.
As for my class on writing short films, I *wish* they had been upfront about the filming. I wasted about $60 on that class, and had I know upfront that they were going to film it, I would have chosen to not go.  That made me a little mad. I don't think I should have to assume that a class is going to be filmed, that should be made clear because it's not the norm.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I took a beginning acting class that was amazing - and no filming or camera work, despite the fact that *acting* actually does require you to be visible in front of other people. The teacher very specifically talked about wanting to create a safe space, and did a fabulous job. Lots of respect to him for doing that (and for not filming us)!
Take care, and I hope you find some awesome folks to hang with that can respect your boundaries! |
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Yeah, I know. What really sucks is that they seemed nice before that. The lady that I was talking to across from me seemed like someone I could be friends with maybe if I only met her one on one or in a small group.
It wasn't the best fit, you're right about that. I don't like to generalize, but I often find that women who have kids are often looking for other women with kids. I'm an anomaly for a married woman my age!
Sorry to hear about the waste of money! Did you talk to the teacher and ask him to not share the video, or at least edit you out of it? I would have. I also would've asked for my money back since you weren't aware that you were going to be vidoetaped, and that the fact that they didn't get your consent could open them up to a possible law suit, or at the very least, upset people other than you. I would've went that route. If that ever happens again, then at least making them aware of things might prevent them from doing something so invasive again.
In the future, it's always best to call them up when in doubt and ask someone if pics or videos will be taken, or if any personal info is expected to be given out.
As for that acting class, I'm glad to hear that you have such a great teacher! And it's great that he respects your privacy! And I agree, if some filming is going to occur, then people should be aware of it beforehand.
Anyways, I'm going to have to suck it up for a new meetup group MAYBE sometime soon as it'll be the groups first meetup, so the dreaded camera and group pics might be taken, ugh! I hope that will NOT be the case this time! The organizer seems nice. She wants to meet me before the meetup-
I sent her a message thanking her, and I told her a bit about myself. That was a first for me in meetup history! I can only go the the ladies room so often, so are there any other ways to avoid having my pic taken w/o being to obvious? I don't think that a polite no thanks will do once again if I want to fit in, ugh! Bleep, Bleep, Bleep!!!! LOL!
I want to make new friends, but I doubt that most people will understand my aversion to having my pic taken. Does anyone else feel like they'll be judged, or have been judged as being weird or off for not wanting to have their pic taken in a group or other setting?
I used to know a few women who never liked having their pic taken, so I rarely ever took their pic w/o their permission. And I swore that I'd never share it with anyone or post it up online, and I didn't.
I just hope that if a pic of me is taken, that I won't end up looking as fat and stupid in it as I normally look in pics. And hopefully I'll be in the back and barely noticeable! That probably won't happen though if I'm going to be sitting right by the organizer, ugh!
I could offer to take the pic, but not if people start taking surprise pics all at once. I really hope it's not going to be as bad as the last meetup to where the organizer went crazy with the camera. Like how many pics does one meetup need? LOL!