So, allow me to introduce myself- I am a 28 years old male, employed with a decent paying job. I am an introvert and have few friends that I consider to be close to me. Lately, I've had questions regarding empathy and my general personality, which is why I decided to join this forum. I'd like to describe a specific situation that have caused me distress-

A close friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend. She's generally quite comfortable with me and talked to me about it, during which she cried about the breakup.

She was clearly upset and in pain and I could understand that, but I couldn't at all feel her emotions. I did not feel sorry or sad for her, although I comforted her and said things like, "It happens. Life will move on, etc."

But this incident led me to worry that I might be lacking in empathy. I can usually understand situations from another person's perspective but I can't seem to feel their emotions, even when people are clearly in distress.

I seem to not be able to care, unless a situation affects me directly. If I am not directly affected, I can't care at all, even if it might be my best friend who is suffering.

Please note that I don't like it when people are upset and don't feel any enjoyment from others' sufferings. I just don't seem to care, or be able to care.

However, if I am distressed and uncomfortable, I think a lot about it, and try whatever I can to reduce my emotional stress. During these times, I feel the need for my friends, but when things are going well, I feel like I could do without them very well.

Is this all normal, or am I very self-centred and lacking in empathy?