Divine, I think theres one label completely missed in that post but I won't go there...

I think for the OP to understand why the focus on the label and not the behavior, is to realize that attaching labels to a person can hinder the process of recovering from how another person's actions caused great distress.

I don't personally know how to rebuild trust, as to me, that would be one very serious line that was crossed. Placing ads for discreet hookups goes way too far, regardless of whether or not the man has an addiction, and regardless of whether or not with or without permission this email or set of emails was discovered that doesn't take away the severity of what he requested.

Both husband and wife have now before them a marriage in severe turmoil and both now need to decide whether to continue or call it quits. Without a committment to years of counseling both individual and together and additional group support, it's not looking very good.

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