Looking at anger is a two fold process, in my opinion. One it involves addressing what it is from your past that creates an overreaction in the here and now. The other is looking at each emotion as it falls before you and look at the present, are these valid reasons to be angry and then how to address it in an appropriate way.

Are you belittling to your girlfriend? Does it cause embarassment when you rant and rave? What exactly is it about having anger that causes your gf to tell you to address it? Because it is actually healthy to get angry at things in the here and now. It can be a push to action. It's how you express it that can make a difference.

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