Welcome, artwise. I noticed that you are from India, so what is normal there may not be “normal” for those of is in the U.S. I’m 69, been in and out of therapy for more than 50 years, seen a lot of concepts and “fads” in psychology in the U.S. come and go.

My personal view is that we are in a phase where the focus on “having empathy” and “not having empathy” is a fad.

Nevertheless, the fact that you are distressed about some things seems worth investigating, and if you aren’t satisfied with the results of your own investigation, then consulting a professional could be worthwhile. From my viewpoint you are relatively young, got a lot of life ahead of you (probably) so doing what you can to make the most of it, for yourself and others, certainly seems worthwhile to me.

Having said that, my experience is that psychotherapy here in the U.S. hasn’t had a lot to offer in terms of personality change. Consequently, in my view, it’s very unfortunate that there is so much focus on “bad” personality characteristics these days instead of more ways to find acceptance (of oneself and others) and making the best of what one has, who one is. Even that’s tough and one can only do the best that one can.

Self-centeredness can come about for a variety of reasons. In my case, I had some early trauma, which caused me to dissociate from some of my emotions and to lose trust in my parents and family to take care of me. The major event happened in a hospital, my parents were following medical authority and procedure – certainly doing the best they could, in the time and culture that we lived in. Nevertheless, the damage happened and it’s taken me a long time, and lots of therapy, to gain some understanding and some of my emotions “back”.

Two questions occur to me that might help:

1. Have you ever been involved in a breakup with a romantic partner before? If not, then it is certainly understandable that you can’t “feel” what your friend was feeling.

2. Have you had other types of losses in your past that were traumatic or hard to cope with? Could you have “numbed yourself” to those losses? In that case your ability to feel you own emotions might be somewhat lost, as mine was, so that you can’t consciously experience what others may be feeling, either.

Again, if you continue to feel distress about yourself I encourage you to see a professional. Then, you can decide whether or not you think and feel they have anything to offer you right now, and if you don’t – then you have at least looked into it.