AnxiousGirl, that was cool of your T to encourage you to stay and work things through. I don't think it was a caring, but I wish. Sometimes I felt he cared about me, but after last meeting, I am questioning whether that was a distortion on my part. Good to point out potential silver linings though.

BudFox, I don't think the self worth issue was his fault at all. I was just trying to think of ways to make it better which led to the discussion of his therapy approach (which I think is part of the reason it wasn't getting better after several years of therapy with him). The thing is, I have told him over and over that I think he is a competent, ethical, and quality therapist. So I was really surprised he thought I insulted him when I said that I don't think he does 'relational' therapy as he insisted he did and so I have to quit after trying to tell him so many times.

I still don't see him doing therapy that way. It's so different than the therapies I read here and have read in various books. If anything was ever abusive in our therapy though, how he treated me in this last session may have been. And the blaming me for everything--I can't get over how bad this makes me feel about myself. I can't see that transference explains everything. But I really have tried. I barely ever missed a session, even on the first day of work on new jobs, I was there at our regular time. I thought telling him how I felt was the right thing to do, even when angry...

Mygrandjourney, I suppose this experience informs me to never trust a therapist again. I was so incredibly attached to him. I still am. Even though I am the one who is quitting, it still feels like he abandoned me and I don't think I can ever let myself get that close to another therapist ever again.