One of the things about depression is that it can make it so hard to enjoy anything...the simple act of having fun seems almost completely out of reach. So I just wanted to talk a little about something I found that lifted that dark curtain for a few hours every week.

This year, I bought a share in a CSA farm. CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture...CSA farms are small, usually organic, farms where the farmer sells shares to cover the cost of operating the farm, and then the shareholders receive a portion of the harvest. In this way, the risk is divided up among a large number of people...you pay the same amount whether there is a bumper crop or a failed crop...so the small farmer doesn't risk going bankrupt from one bad season. Anyone who wants to read more about CSA's, you can look at http://www.nal.usda.gov/afsic/csa/ . There is also a listing of CSA farms at that site, for anyone who might want to see if there is a farm near them.

So, every Friday since the week before Memorial Day, I have driven out to this farm to pick up my share of produce. Most things are harvested by the farm staff, and are set out in a little farm stand. But they also have things every week that are "pick your own". The big event of the opening week is picking strawberries. My share was small, only a pint, so the challenge was trying to pack them in the container just the right way to get as many as possible in there.

My trips to the farm became the highlight of my week. A could hardly wait for noon on Fridays, when I could head out of work, put the top down on my car and drive out into the country. Soaking up the sun as I drove, and then out in the pick-your-own fields...it was the perfect way to release all of the tension of the work week. And I've learned all kinds of new vegetables, that I might never have tried before. I even canned some food, for the first time ever. There was never a week when I wasn't happy and excited about going up there. I don't know that I can remember anything, even fun things, that I never wanted to skip.

As I would drive into the farm, I always checked out the crops...looking for that first red tomato or ripening pepper, looking to see if there are beets, or broccoli, or onions, or whatever. Now as I drive in, most of the fields are planted with cover crop for the winter. The drive up there is a fiery display of fall leaves. Next week is the last pickup, and my Friday outings will be done for the year. I'm going to miss it, but it also feels kind of natural to be winding down as everything goes to sleep for the winter.

Sorry for rambling on about this...I'm sure it must seem kind of trivial. But it brought something back to me that the depression had taken away, the ability to find joy in the little things. To me, this wasn't just going to pick up vegetables, but therapy.