I'll just get right to it, I have a very embarrassing fetish that I guess falls under 'feederism'. Even though it has a predominantly straight following, I'm a gay guy who's into it. It involves getting off on other people gaining weight or gaining weight yourself. I absolutely hate it. There is such a massive stigma for this particular fetish and I understand why. Obesity is extremely unhealthy and would be repellant under normal circumstances.

Also, due to my own carelessness, my sister found certain content on my computer that was related to this fetish, and she told her friends and the rest of the family. A lot of people brand me disgusting, perverted and sick. And I agree with them! I think my brain has been warped somehow, and that I'm inherently bad.

I wish that I was into more mainstream kinky stuff even, like whips and chains and all that, at least you can leave that in the bedroom. This insidious fetish permeates your whole life, and I've been seriously negatively affected by the judgements of others once they found out.

I know that fetishes don't really go away with time, so I've even been suicidal over this. Can someone offer any advice?
Thanks.