I can't keep it together. I started bawling my eyes out in the middle of a store today. I'm not functioning. HOw am going to work this week?

He also commented i'm masochistic. We've been working together for 3 years now and yesterday he told me I was machositic. What? Maybe I am at times, but I am just learning this now? He went on and on about my faults. I am so confused.

There is a big, gaping wound opened. I feel it in my stomach, it's a constant pain.
My parents didn't want me or love me, never said anything positive about me and wanted to get rid of me, so this is a huge, core wound. I looked up at him as a father figure, it really, really hurts to find out he actually hated me all this time.