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Originally Posted by naia
There are therapies that do use the relationship between the infant and mother as a model, as attachment, which is scientifically proven regardless of orientation.
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Do you mean theories about attachment are scientifically proven, or the associated therapy methods? I have read up on attachment theory; I find it interesting and totally relevant. But as for what therapists purport to do with this in the clinical setting, I have little or no idea. I have never heard one explain their method nor appear to even have one. It seems largely or entirely improvised.
Quote:
Originally Posted by naia
For some therapies there is a plan and method. Depends. And there is also a way to contain and correct mistakes or misunderstandings. Some T's are very transparent. That is also confirmed by studies. The more transparent the process and the T is, the fewer misunderstandings and mistakes.
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I've met few Ts who were transparent. Most were largely opaque. How could a study show T transparency? I don't understand. One guy I asked what specifically would happen in the room. His answer was so vague that it was a non-answer. I pressed again. He thought this was odd and suggested we should not work together.
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Originally Posted by naia
I'm not sure why the T relationship is not part of the human social world and interdependence? They are people too. They have needs too. They meet with people to try to help in many cases. Trust is essential to the process. Without trust, nothing can happen.
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How can you trust someone whose job it is to significantly limit what they share about themselves? Trust is built on shared disclosure, shared vulnerability. Seems what clients get with T's is the an approximation of trust. I trusted my last main ex T, and then she betrayed that trust. The problem was that I simply did not know the person I was expected to trust. I only got a heavily filtered version of her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by naia
If it is a lab, it is a place to try out different kinds of ways of being with people when doing that in real life isn't safe or even possible. I don't see that as weird. I see it as an opportunity to try out things and not worry about how it affects the T because they are professionals so can't do what real people do, which is for me mean, destructive, harmful, and traumatic.
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My T was not mean, but she was most definitely destructive, harmful, and traumatic. Again, not uncommon based on my reading. The power imbalance is a breeding ground for abusive or exploitive dynamics.
Not trying to be argumentative, but the ideal that you describe I have never experienced and seems unlikely given that T's are regular people who are just as screwed up as the rest of us. Not saying it's all bad, just trying for a realistic assessment of the biz. There seems to be a huge gap between what is advertised and what is actually on offer.