Quote:
Originally Posted by Macd123
We didn't have casual how's the weather chats. She shared some things that I thought were things only very close friends would share. Granted I read this as she being interested. This was going on for eight months and I put some effort in trying to be her friend - I took it too far. About a month ago she told me I was her best friend - this probably means exactly that but I was gone by then and didn't really stop and digest the issue. So last week she posts a picture on Facebook announcing her new flame. What can I tell you I fell for her and it was stupid. Now that I look back I was probably just a tool she used to get through the ending she had with her previous boy friend.
She's actually 25 - I know young but an adult. Thanks everyone!
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Ok. Let's go through this.
She talked with you about a lot of things that are more than just casual acquaintance topics. You even say that they were conversations good friends would have - you are totally correct!
But that does not mean someone is interested. The generation gap has likely come in to play - most topics are easily shared amongst friends. The fact that she never mentioned her new boyfriend? That does not mean she used you. It means that she doesn't talk to men about relationships and sex. I'm the same way - I will talk to my male friends about most things with the exceptions of women's health topics, my sex life, and relationship information is always kept to a minimum. I am much more likely to talk to men about health problems than I am relationships as I view my relationships as much more emotionally private topics.
As you are in your sixties, clarifying that she is 25 really doesn't matter. My dad is 65. I am 31, and have siblings aged 30,38 and 44. The thought of dating someone my dads age?? I would never think of it as a possibility and it actually makes me feel sick if I make myself think of that. If you want to think of generations, many people have children in their early 20 (less so now but was common when I was born). So she is 25. Lets say her parents were 22. And their parents had them at 22. Her grandparents would be 69 and her parents 47. You are more likely to be her grandpa. Especially considering that you are retired- your stage of life is so far beyond hers.
In your post, you say the following things:
- she talked about topics not used for aquaintences
- you viewed that as her being interested
- at the time she was in a relationship (said previously not in the above quote)
- she said you were her best friend
- she got a new boyfriend (and she did not talk about him with you)
- you decide she has used you
What are the facts in that, and what are your interpretations? She treated you like a friend and nothing more. Nothing st all indicates that she was interested in more than friendship. If you include the age and life stage differences..... There is even less than zero indications of her being interested in more than friendship. She is likely clueless about your desires because most women would get the hell out of that situation quickly.