I can’t handle my husband on SSRIs. He has been on and off of them since he was about 15 years old, but he has a history of turning into a jerk after taking them. For example, he has cheated on me, told me he doesn’t find me attractive, he has told me that he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t want to marry me, he didn’t want children (this was announced as we were trying to get pregnant), and numerous other SSRI-specific revelations while medicated.

When he doesn’t take SSRIs, he’s different, normal even, and someone I love very, very much. But when he takes them, I don’t like him, I don’t want to talk to him or be around him because I’m afraid of what he will say; and I’m absolutely terrified about what he may one day say to our son now that we have a child together.

Some general history – he was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when he was about 15 and has been on SSRIs the majority of his life since then. His family acts like he’s a powder keg waiting to go off, unpredictable and extreme. But that isn’t him at all. He hasn’t consistently taken SSRIs in the past two years, and he is stable, caring, a great father, and everything I could ever want. It’s only when he starts talking about taking them again that I start to panic. I feel like I have PTSD from back when he was on them before.

When I try to talk to him about this, he assures me that he has changed and that I should trust him to still be kind when he takes them, but I can’t seem to get over all the things he said in the past, and I can’t seem to make myself ok with giving him another chance on SSRIs. I am absolutely terrified that his antidepressants will ruin our marriage. He’s told me that it’s not my business or concern whether he takes them, and that I’m being abusive for trying to keep him from taking them, and he may be right. But I’m scared! What do I do?