Perhaps you can make a committment to your future patients, hun? The strength you have now is being gathered up, so you can share it with them....so you can offer it to them - it's a blessing I think (another thread topic!).

Perhaps you can try to make a no-SI committmet to them and to yourself. You need to take care of Angela so she can be the best caretaker for the posters here, and for your patients yet to come. You've read about Social Learning Theory (remember Bandura?). People learn by watching others. Other folks with an SI problem may be able to learn skills and determination from you.

Wishing I could sooth your hurt.

Emmy