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If you really want to get sober you'll need to accept your part in all this. Nobody put you on the coffee or the energy drinks that was totally you. You mentioned you just bought 3 adderalls ...just how does one just buy adderalls? Off the street? You need a support group go to NA.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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