I have state insurance. Everytime I've been in IP it was cold with hard beds and horrible pdocs that wouldn't even read my file before prescribing me my new cocktail and releasing me to the world to just end up where I started.

So I promised my docs I'd do this on my own in with my pillow top mattress, own shower, toilet, ect and if I felt that bad I'd go to the ER. Ive been through substance withdrawal before so I know what to expect and I sure won't find comfort in a state run IP with no detox meds at all and hard beds. What I'm afraid of is getting off my psych meds cold turkey.

They took blood work at pdocs today so in a wk, after detox, I go back to the office for lab results and a whole new look at my meds.

Physical withdrawal is bad physically and mentally and add more mental from the lack of meds. I have no one for support. I've talked to my famiy and bf today about this plan and they all said I just need to get off my *** and find a new job. Every job I've ruined because of my BP and unstable moods, sober or not. They don't see how sick I am. I need to get sober and stable before I think about work.

Just don't worry if I'm off here for a few days. I'm probably sleeping it off.

Trileptal 600mg BID
Buspar 45mg
Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvanse 70mg
Risperdal 4-6mg PRN

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