Thank you for the replies. I really need the psychological help but that means allowing someone else to take control and that is scary! I've was mentally mind f*#<ed for years and a big part of me is afraid a pdoc will do nothing but the same along with not listen to me on what I can't take. I never thought about me being on control of who I see and setting limits. I figured they could do whatever and I would be stuck without my normal meds n my doc wouldn't be able to change it back. Since starting on mood stabilizers in November life has completely changed for my family and I. Backtracking is not an option.
But I will think on this a while and hopefully be able to make the call to set up the appointment soon. Thanks guys!

No matter how small, a positive change deserves to be celebrated!