Aw blue. Sorry you're struggling so much. I think you need a good cry. Can you do that? Tell bf you need some time alone? Trauma work, I tried cognitive processing therapy. It's supposed to help. I found it just made me feel worse and brought up more memories. You might be having a flood of memories. Can you try and put them away for awhile? I have to do that sometimes. You could also try some grounding exercises. Try and settle your mind.