hi, justaghost, have all of your therapists provided cognitive therapy? I agree that cognitive therapy is not a good fit for everyone. If you have only had cognitive therapists, can you try something else? My first counselor was cognitive and that approach was not a good fit for me. My current therapist is humanist/psychodynamic/whateverworks and has helped me a lot. I don't know if there is one best approach for adult attachment disorder. When choosing a new therapist, I would ask your candidates specifically if they have experience with that issue.

I'm afraid, though, that whatever approach the therapist takes, when you can no longer pay for his/her professional services, the relationship does end. In that sense, it's the same as going to a doctor, lawyer, accountant, etc. This is how they earn their living. Hard for us to swallow sometimes because of our emotional attachments to our therapists, but good to have an understanding of at the outset.

Good luck.