Oh, I wouldn't be envious at all sir - aside from the single long year+ relationship, the longest lasted about 3 weeks. You couldn't probably even classify those as "dating" or a true "relationship", they all blew up so fast. After the long relationship ended for me, I went a year and a half basically without anyone, feeling lonely and dejected and like life was so unfair all the time. I developed trust issues because she cheated, it amplified my anxiety and fear of losing everyone I care about. I actually believed that I worked better in people's pasts.

And now I'm in love with a girl that I simply cannot be with due to my overbearing, overprotective, life-controlling asshole parents. The one person I've felt strongest for in my entire life, and I can't be with her. That really sucks, when you KNOW that she is the one you want and she's the best for you, and you can't have her....

There isn't a need to envy me. I honestly envy you your freedom in life, and your experience borne of age. Life's funny sometimes, I guess, and unfair to the wrong people too. But you've gotta trust that one day everything will work out for you - if I didn't have that trust, I don't know what I'd be doing right now.