Well,since I cracked my molar and lost the adjacent filling I'm having a hard time eating.
Plus the extreme hunger is depleted when I smoke. Only 2 packs for now. About 5 cigarettes each day. It does help with calming my nerves.

I made my friend mad when I was very defeatist and said so what if it's bad for me. I have no value anyway.

My friends smoke weed and cigars.

I'm not going to make a habit of it. I do remember when I quit 35 years ago thinking,"This is the hardest thing I've ever done!".

But after having to taper off all kinds of psych meds I know that's way way harder.

I'm sick of being 40 lbs over weight. My clothes don't fit. I look like a pig even in a one piece bathing suit.

I know this is a very temporary solution. It did help me cope when I found out one worker and 15 year friend embezzled $1027.00 and somehow got his name on my husbands account.

I prevented more problems by simply cleaning out my husbands acct.

Expecting company tomorrow,and I've never had to be a closet smoker. I know I'll have urges.

I wonder if I can hide it? It's not really me, given the fact that it's been 35 years of non smoking.

Plus I don't smoke weed. Or cigars.

I want to make a nice impression. We've been eml buddy's for 2 1/2 years.

The mental illness I suffer has never been a topic I've broached.

Oh God.