When my uni therapist said "I love you" during a hug just before the Christmas break, I had a total breakdown about it. I became so depressed. I couldn't handle it. I love that woman so much, but somehow the thought of her loving me was unbearable. I've had to work through it. I think I have come out on the other side, though, and in last week's session I when broke down in tears for the first time, she came and sat next to me and held me for several minutes. She spoke soft, caring words and was stroking my back in soothing circles. And even though I felt really ashamed of myself afterwards, it was a very healing experience.
I am almost ready to accept her love now, and it feels good. Maybe I'll even be ready to say it back at some point. I did tell her in an email over the Christmas break after she had said it to me, but I haven't said it to her face yet. So yes, I think it is perfectly okay to feel the way you feel, and I'm glad you have such a loving relationship with your therapist.
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And now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor is made of steel
You can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
- Demi Lovato
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