Hi - there are several threads about this but they seem to be a couple of years old now. I'm new here and am struggling to cope at times with my husband's ladies underwear fetish. I've known about it for a couple of years [he hid it for 3] and have accepted it in as much as I know it won't go away, know it's not to do with me, know where it started. I love my husband and having talked about it a LOT decided it wasn't worth losing him over. However I can't escape the fact that it still doesn't make me feel anything other than totally turned off. The thongs keep arriving in the post, he stashes them, 'uses' them, stashes them again. Sometimes he buys used ones which I seriously cant handle. Sometimes my own underwear goes missing as well. It's like my own underwear isn't mine at all, and it makes me feel pretty crap to be honest. When his fetish is high, our sex life is low. Ive bought him male thongs but I will be honest in that I see him in them and it does absolutely nothing for me at all. He doesnt wear the ladies ones in front of me. That's all hidden from me. His stash used to be hidden in the lining of the bed and was far more than just thongs. Basques, a whole stocking collection, shoes. I always feel things are being hidden away. And I also feel that I'm just not enough to give him his kicks. He prefers masturbating with thongs than emotionally connecting to me.

I have my own anxiety issues and OCD and this doesnt help really. I feel as though I'm doing all the work to understand his fetish, live with it, but no-one is supporting how it makes me feel deep inside. Everything I read is about not making a big deal of it, acceptance, understand, support of him - but I can feel very alone sometimes. It's not really something I can talk to people about. I've spoken about it in therapy but as this is a lifelong deal, the times when it lays me low are hard. I've never tried to change him, probably because I know that's never going to work! I know it's something I have to live with if I want to be with him. I just wish I knew how sometimes.

Any advice would be appreciated x