sitting here lots of energy and nothing to focus on! agh~what to do? i have to go back and see my doc in aprox 10days. we are waiting on my meds to take me slowly down a little. sounds strange to want to go down. it feels good to have so much energy but i feel reckless. bad decisons being made. the good thing is i recagnise this and won't let it get out of control like before. with the kids all gone to school i have the house to myself find myself paceing. (spelling) music is my outlet. i have tried to quit smoke-ing but hard hard hard. i get board so easy. looking at having surg again on my face. sounds brutal but it's not i have trigeminal neuralgia a nerve diorder were a blood vessle is peircing my #5 cranial nerve. so they go in behind my ear and make about an 6 inch incision. so back to that. i have been thinking about that and worring about money- cause we have none. dose anyone else ever hear voices? i was laying in bed trying to go to sleep and heard a mans voice not scary because i have heard it before. usualy when i am depressed not manic. but i have a history of it. couldn't make out what he was saying but it's always a guy! strange. anyone else? or just me. so tell me about you guys. directions? shyguy?dreamrunner? mydarlin? and etc. wish my computer would let me on the chat room here on pc but it won't i have a myspace page that i can chat on. if anyone feels like talking http://www.myspace.com/onyx6000 . well im off to pace! catch you all later. enjoy the music from earlier. it's a remake of an old club song pretty cool.