((Phoenix)),

I am sorry you have been so sensitive lately, you have a good heart and often a good heart suffers. But, you are important to those who are struggling with illness and are afraid, it's important that you are caring and reassuring to them. I know what you mean by nurses and health professionals that are cold as I have experienced that myself too many times.

However, health care professionals have been under a great deal of stress and pressure and a lot of that is because of how health insurance companies are being so cold, controlling and insensitive so any mistake is something that is penalized by much higher rates. There is also a Political Correctness with language used Insurance Companies demand for protection, no appologies or any language that claims any responsibility whatsoever. Each and every patient is no longer seen as a patient but a liability. In order to practice any kind of medicine one has to be insured, so insurance companies have a lot of power to set the price of being insured very high.

So, it isn't just you that has been affected, this has been growing and developing for several years now.

As far as your cat is concerned, do not self blame for not doing enough, I am sure you loved your cat very much and took better care of that cat then most humans get. You did your best to give him love and a quality life. Animals get ill, they have health issues that crop up before we can know they are struggling, it's not our fault. I had to deal with a lot of guilt when so many of my ponies and horses suffered so much damage because of my neighbor's dog and I could not afford to do the vet care I wanted to do for them, I was simply overwhelmed and in my situation that was used against me which made the entire scenario even worse. I have been treated as though I had no right to value what I had, or to be so upset so much so that I had a post traumatic breakdown.

When I was so bad because my appendix ruptured and leaked toxins into my body cavity to where I was close to dying I was yelled at by the EMT, as I lay on the table being ready for surgery the last thing I remember was how angry the nurse was because she could not find my urethra. I had surgery for my achilee's tedon just 10 days prior so when I was finally at a point where I had to get up and go to the restroom I had to have a protective boot put on to protect my tendon and the nurses acted like I was such an imposition on them when they had to put that on for me.

Yes, I know all about how cold health care workers can be, very bad.