Hello SomethingWitty: I'm not familiar with this fetish. Perhaps, as a result, I don't really understand what's so awful about it. There certainly are lots of different fetishes out there.

I've struggled with my own fetish-like behaviors in years past. Thankfully, as I have aged & my life circumstances have changed, they have gone by the wayside. I don't know if this is typical or not. For me, one of the things that was most helpful, I think, was simply that when my living arrangements changed such that I could no longer pursue my fetish-like behaviors, they seemed to dissolve. I don't know how often that occurs.

I've read that fetishes can't be removed. So maybe what was going on with me was not a true fetish. I don't know. I've never talked to anyone about it... & never was outed, either accidentally or on purpose. I'm so sorry you were. That was despicable.

By the way, I have (& still do) struggle with suicidality. In fact I've made 2 serious attempts previously. Feeling suicidal is nothing to ignore or mess around with. If you can, please reach out to someone, in real life, for support.