Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauliza
This is a really good post. The field of therapy as a whole does not promote love the manipulation of clients to fall in love with their Ts. Some misguided/inept unstable/dumb therapists do it inadvertently under the guise of warmth and caring. I also think some people who are very insecure in their identities and relationships become confused by the concept of "unconditional acceptance". It's a concept that doesn't exist in real world relationships (aside from parent/child) and may feel a lot like love to some people. Unfortunately, it's not love and isn't really intended to be. Not to say a T can't really care for a client but it's not with the same intensity some people experience.
A relationship with a therapist isn't that different from other relationships since you never know what another person's real feelings or intentions are. Therapy exists to help clients become less dependent on the love/approval of others and to find fulfillment within themselves. It doesn't seem to work out that way a lot of the time, but that tends to be the intention.
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I soo agree and have read where so many people to begin to feel a romantic 'love' for their t's. I can see how that can easily happen when there is someone being supportive, caring and spends time focusing and listening to you. In what I see in my issue, it is my life experiences that have seemed to prove my belief of my worth. I have reached out to others with negative consequences at each time. So having a 'safe' person now (T) that is saying and trying to show that I can have a different life and that I am worth doing the work for it(even though I can barely stand to hear him say it and don't believe it, there is a part of me that wants to and even occasionally wonders if there is any chance he could be right)..... does make it VERY hard for me to not find myself wanting to trust him and have him pull me out of this pit I have spent life in. I fight the 'dependence' and at the same time there are moments that the only hope I can hang onto is a thought of something he has done to help. I don't feel 'in love' with him and don't see that as my issue, but I also still wonder what is going to happen if I stop this numbed life and begin to feel the losses and wants of someone supportive and caring and the only one that has ever shown that will have to begin pulling away at that time to encourage me to become more self-sufficient.
This is how I see the flaw in the system. Without this dependence that is happening with t, I wouldn't be AT ALL starting to have emotions I have blocked all my life, but when Pandora's box is opened.... then what??? At this time, I am chosing to continue down the path and hope for the best, but the fear of the therapeutic issues that can arise do keep me wondering what is in store.... I guess my point is, even with the romantic love issues that many face, the natural dependency that develops in this process, when that has always been withheld from early trauma and life, can be terrifying in such an artificial environment.