Idk I'm at a weird place. I'm actually at a place where I'm practising forgiveness. I used to hate hearing that. And I've been through a lot of therapy. I used to hate men so much with a passion after all that they had done to me. I still haven't forgiven my sons dad. But he keeps hurting him so that's a hard one. But that abuse you know I went through, I'm really trying to practice forgiveness. They didn't mean to hurt me. It's what they were taught. Getting off track...

I think relationship s are hard. I'm single, just don't feel comfortable dating yet until I'm completely stable and have lost this weight I've gained. I admire you for being able to stick it out for 10 yrs. He sounds like he can be a jerk sometimes though. I think getting into therapy to work on your men issues will really help you. I feel I can learn to trust men again. They're not all bad. But oh man it's taken a lot of therapy to get me here and learning to forgive too. I hope you can find a good therapist that can lead you to healing.