I'm into forgiveness. But I'm not into saying to him what you did is ok. Just tried to talk. He will only say he did nothing wrong. He said I should not have taken him in a strip bar if I didn't want him seeing naked women and commenting on their bodies. He understands a tiny bit that this was something we could've done to bring us together - like I'm so turned on iam take you home and make mad passion date love to you. And he has ED so I feel like it's my fault for not having some sexy body anymore.
Right now our talks got us nowhere, he says I'm crazy and would've found a problem with whatever he'd said and my fault bringing him there. Truth is I'm so naive I really thought it would bring some passion back to us.
I am going to be looking at places to live out of state where maybe I could afford to live while I still have a job until June. I want all 3 my kids with me, and to heal all of us.
In the papers yesterday, I found a cps order that cleared me but said I should not have bf around older son... I followed it somewhat but should've left him then and there. I hate this feeling I've had to rely on him for help. His crumbs of love.
My older 2 are resistant to leave Cali but I hope they will change their minds.