I always had suicidal ideation and depression for as long as I can remember, from even age 6 or 7. I just thought it was clinical depression, and I kept a secret from my parents because I was in denial. I had my first panic attack at age 20 and told my parents I was depressed. I was diagnosed as bipolar at 21 after having taken antidepressants and then trying to kill myself. My new pdoc suggested I might be bipolar 2 and after hearing about hypomania things started to click.