I know. I guess it just felt nice to be wanted and happy at the prospect of a future for me, maybe it wasn't him as such, but more what it represented.

I just feel that I'll never be lucky in relationships and as much as I'm good on my own and life isn't all about having a partner, I just don't want to spend it alone forever and keep going through this emotional turbulence. I'm sick of it and surely I deserve some luck.

I just feel suicidal because I know life is never going to change for me and I don't want to be alone forever

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