I hope you will feel good again! Do you have any options to go to a counselor, and has your doc had you try any antidepressants? The antidepressants have helped me, at least certain ones. It's hard to see good when so much negative stuff is going on, but maybe trying to focus on what is going right could at least make little pockets of relief. Even for a few minutes. I hope you find something that will help!