The anger has toward all men who ever hurt me, or my children. I'm thinking so much hate hate hate. It's not who I am. You should be mad though, men have berate you and your family a lot. I worry that you may think this is always how it has to be/is. At times I think BF's trying to anger you.

This part angers me I lost my 2 necklaces that were very sentimental. I wandered the street crying, sobbing, could not cross back to hotel cuz the parade. He as well as everyone you were with should have been looking for you not just your daughter. That's just a normal level of caring. BF should have almost been frantic worried because HIS actions put you in harms way.

I also want my man to watch over me & have my back. you'd expect it from a best friend and should expect nothing less from a BF.

I tried to behave how I thought he wanted me to. He doesn't have the same values and you can't be someone you're not and be happy, you've tried that.

he has ED so I feel like it's my fault for not having some sexy body anymore. Wouldn't you feel more like your not sexy if he did go home and have a romantic night with you after the strip club. Has he gotten his ED checked for the cause of it and meds?

I want all 3 my kids with me, and to heal all of us. That sounds like the best way to heal is to move and heal together.