Hi friend,

Old saying:
You are not who you think you are.
You are how others perceive you are.
Hard to digest when we are fighting internal battles with ourselves.

From what you said, I see a very productive and well rounded person.
You have accomplished the hard part of life. You are a winner.

I'm not qualified to give you any specific advise, olny to wish you the best
in your future endeavors. Hang in there. You already did the heavy lifting.