How interestingly different we all are. I am just the opposite in that it won't work for me if the t tells me regularly what is supposed to be happening and why. I have a great t and have actually stopped him several times or tuned him out when he starts to explain the how's and why's.

For me, all I hear is what I am supposed to do IF I DO THIS RIGHT and my brain immediately goes to focus on how I should respond, react, think, etc. . Nothing true to myself would exist if he kept me in the loop on what he is looking for asks why he is saying things. In the very beginning of therapy with this t, I told him that I had 'spoken' to a couple of others, but never talked to any of them. I even remember saying that the couple other T's that I had spoken to were like playing with wind up dolls, I knew what to say and do each step of the way and often felt like I should be the one helping them because they couldn't seem to figure anything out on their own or tell me anything I didn't already know. I did try to get all that control information up front and he did the withholding stuff with a slight smile when I told him that I couldn't do it right if he didn't tell me what we were doing. He just kept saying things like 'right is whatever happens' and i would all but yell at him because I would panic from not being able to 'play correctly' because he wouldn't tell me the rules of the game. .. (I used that exact analogy one time) ....... a couple years into this process now and I realized that he stood firm and I finally gave in to trying to just respond and act in there according to 'me' and not expectations. ... I am still full of many battles, but because he very kindly refused to explain so many things in the beginning, I now have the only place on earth and only time I can recall, where I am not masked with 'here are the rules, now play the game by them and if you do good enough, you might win. .. but if you don't win, it is because you failed and I had told you stay to do'.... for better and worse, I am still battling how to play by the therapeutic rules to make sure I do things right, but now I'm having to deal with a much bigger problem regarding how to live in an environment where I don't know what I am supposed to be but am just supposed to be, which would never have happened if he had given in to my begging for direction to this process in the beginning... This feels like torture now, but I know it's because it's the first time I've been forced to just try to be since he won't give me the guidebook so that I know what the expectations are for me.

Again, just interesting how what works for one person can be the completely opposite need for another. I do feel for the therapists in general regarding figuring out what will help or harm each individual.