Desperado - Well, you got yourself out of bed and went to see your mom - that was a victory. I felt all of your words in your post yesterday. I have been there too - even used some of the same words and phrases to describe it. Remember that what you are experiencing is the product of depression and your brain doing funky things. I wish your therapy appointment was sooner. Keep coming back here at least and "talk it out." You don't have to go through this alone. I'm pulling for you. Many blessings, Etheria