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Old Feb 19, 2016, 02:47 PM
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Pastel Kitten Pastel Kitten is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 972
Quote:
Originally Posted by kamikazebaby View Post
Pastel & Crying, I very much relate. I always feel like I'm not beautiful enough to live, no one will ever love the real me, I'm going to lose this fight someday, everything is worthless/meaningless/pointless, everything is a lie, nothing lasts or remains stable, this never goes away, I don't belong here, etc. It makes it tough to even want to try. I fight being absorbed by the void almost constantly.

Ideas of "not being judged, loved for who you are" seem like the most impossible, alien thing to me. Like talking about living on a planet in another solar system.
People are always telling me to stop worrying about what other people think but it's impossible because I feel that the entire world is judging me harshly for even small "mess ups" like not doing my hair correctly or not posting on facebook enough and a whole bunch of ridiculous stuff that no one cares about, probably...but then when I come to the realization that they probably don't care, I feel that pang in my chest and think that nobody cares about me as a result. It feels like everyone around me is moving forward with their lives while I'm stuck in this rut.
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Dx: BPD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD traits
Rx: Lamictal 200mg and 0.5mg Ativan as needed



"Now I can see all the colors that you see."
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