Hello Cosmicsight: I see this is your first post... so... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks!

You know... there are all sorts of sexuality, as well as gender-identity, related issues that people struggle with. And, from my perspective, it's important to try not to look at them from the perspective of them being "wrong". All this accomplishes is to cause the person who has one to feel shame & embarrassment.

I'm an older person now; & I'm biologically male. But all of my life I carried a compulsion toward wanting to have been female. Nowadays it's referred to as being transgender. But, when I was young, the term hadn't even been invented yet. And neither sex nor gender were considered to be appropriate topics for discussion. Somehow, I don't know how, I learned at very early age that this was something I must never talk about. So I grew up keeping it a closely guarded secret, feeling weird & somehow slightly dirty. But, in secret, I found all sorts of strange ways to act out & satisfy my compulsion. (And, by-the-way, I've made two serious suicide attempts of my own.) I also grew up to become a very private, secretive sort of person. Nowadays I pretty-much just keep to myself. In fact, I carried around so many secrets, for so many years, that it's become almost a compulsion of its own. If I don't have a few secrets tucked in my hip pocket, so to speak, I feel like I'm just not complete.

Now, having written all of that, I will say that having compulsions, or a fetishes, can present a real problem. Society in general does not tolerate them well. Some can even be illegal. And under any circumstances the guilt, shame, & fear of exposure that a person can carry around can be corrosive... leading to such mental health problems as major depression, anxiety, & suicidality. From what you wrote, it sounds like you're already experiencing some of this.

From what I've read, it can be pretty close to impossible to "cure" a person of a fetish. The best that can be hoped for is that the person can learn to manage it in such a way that it does not open them up to public ridicule & legal trouble. If possible, it may be of value for you to get some individual therapy with a therapist who has experience working with individuals who have sexuality-related compulsions or fetishes. (I would be cautious about seeing just any therapist.) A therapist may not be able to "cure" you of your zoophilla. But s/he may be able to help you with the depression, anxiety & fear that go along with having such a compulsion. I wish you well...