Hello Varney: I see this is your first post... so... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you will find the time you spend here to be of benefit. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more connected to the community you will feel.

Yes, I can certainly relate to allot of what you expressed in your post. It's a long story & I won't go into all of the details, but I have always felt pretty uncomfortable around other people. I'm very much an introvert. I had to chuckle a bit at your comment regarding McDonalds. I would have exactly the same reaction!

I'm an older person now & I pretty-much just keep to myself. There's no one who can, or even wants to try, to understand what I have struggled with all of my life. And even if there were, there's so much of it I couldn't even talk about. So what good would it do?

I enjoy reading about current research regarding how our brains function. And one thing that keeps coming up is that allot more of who we are, & what we do, is controlled by areas of the brain to which we have no conscious access than we would typically imagine. So perhaps there is some stuff stored in non-conscious areas of your brain that you are not aware of but that is causing you to feel the way you do... just a thought. My best wishes to you...