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Old Feb 20, 2016, 12:58 AM
internalpuppetshow internalpuppetshow is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by bathroomscrubber View Post
I have felt similar to what you are describing, and the Dr. Is an idiot for just assuming. They should have drawn blood if they thought that way. A lot of people's pupils dilate from anxiety. My son has adhd his pupils were always dilated. Even after they put him on meds and even after I took him off. I constantly battled the feeling, usually I got it from being indoors so much, this is a new discovery for me, I didn't realize that was an issue, but I've been going for walks everyday and it's gotten better. I was also having racing jumbled thoughts (couldn't really process thoughts because others would start and continue pattern) I suffer from anxiety really bad also. Fear of the unknown, afraid of getting lost, afraid of people. The other day I honestly thought I was going crazy. So I decided to go for a walk. But it wasn't just any walk. I was going to face the unknown even if I got lost. As I was walking, I tried to do the awareness exercises, and pay attention to my surroundings. Instead the thoughts kept intruding. I started actually focusing on the thoughts and ended up meeting my feelings, emotions, and moods. It was like meeting lost ,missing, pieces of myself. I had walked for over three hours, getting to know myself. Something I never had the answer for before. Until I got back home I didn't realize I was sore from walking, as a matter of fact I kinda had a bounce to my step. I'm not saying I liked all the things I discovered about myself,but I discovered things I do like also. I felt almost whole for the first time I can ever remember. I'm not saying you have the same problem, but maybe you have something inside of you that needs you to recognize it, and maybe facing the unknown (scary ) with no destination in mind, will help you to discover it and you won't feel so bad. I have not had any anxiety for 2 days now, and my thoughts are not racing, and my mind is so much more clear. I've noticed certain things still trigger me and my mind does still wander sometimes, but I have better control of it now. It's not such a scary thing anymore. I've suffered from those problems since I was a child almost daily. I'm 40 now. I wish I went on that long scary walk sooner. I hope you can find your way to find what's causing your distress sooner than I did. I was afraid of myself.
Glad that worked for you, I'll try it. I can't help but to feel doubtful, though (nothing personal, just by experience). I used to go on walks all the time. I walked about 2-2.5 hours a day for about a few years, once I walked for 3. Got lost in my thoughts, got connected to nature. Didn't do a thing for me. I still felt that people were hiding behind and inside of trees, waiting to jump me. It's stupid, seeing as I was a late teen at the time, but I always thought someone was going to run up and stab me. Or something inhuman and non-animal would attack me.

I'm very, very critical of my own appearance (funny because I don't see anyone else being ugly) and this is one thing that also makes me not want to go out. I'm an eyesore and very aware of this fact, and people do give me looks. Kind of a pain in the neck because I don't know if it's because I'm ugly or they know something. Winter is the only time I'll rarely go out because I can hide this ugly mug behind a scarf. Doesn't do anything for my mood, though, it's likely not fixable at all.
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