Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
In reading their text books - the theory seems to go to blame the client but it is in practice I find the most obfuscation -
(therapist tells me some completely unsolicited thing about themselves)
Me: why did you tell me that? What are you trying to get at?
Therapist: I don't know - I just did
_____
Me: Is there any structure or plan going on here
Therapist: I have a plan
Me: What is it
Therapist: I can't explain it to you
________
Therapist: That seems like what a lot of people would feel.
Me: what is the point of what you just said? I was not saying I was the only person on the planet to feel X. I am not worried about whether it is usual or not.
Therapist: I don't know
Me: Then why did you say it?
Therapist: If you don't know, I can't explain it
___________
(therapist says something like "you are a good attorney" or "you are X" out of the blue)
Me: how would you possibly think you know such a thing? Why do you think I would care what you think about X?
Therapist: I just guess you would be X
Me: But what difference is it supposed to make to me what you think about it? Particularly when you don't know it.
Therapist: I don't know
And so then I tell the woman to quit talking at all since it makes no sense, she has no purpose, and I don't find it useful
sort of thing
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I think I see where you're coming from now. When I've read about therapy I've tended to focus on the positive, but now I think of it there is sometimes a blaming of clients as an explanation. My ex-T once said to me that 'some people can't manage therapy', which seemed to me to place the failure of therapy on the client. I told her that I was unsure whether clients should be blamed like that. (She didn't reply).
I also think I might not be happy with some of your T's answers like - 'I have a plan, but I can't explain it'. I know there are T's out there who are a bit more able to articulate things than your T seems to be. I wonder what you'd make of my T - she never shares a single personal thing (but I think she might if it seemed I needed that). She never says random things. We did seem to meander about a bit when I first started seeing her, but we seem to have grown into my therapy and it doesn't feel like that now.