So what I hear from you is that you are ashamed of being a virgin. So what? I don't understand how this is something to commit suicide over. I don't understand this post at all. I don't understand why you feel the need to judge your sister because she's better at relationships. I don't get the water bottle issue either. You break something of hers, yeah I guess that's something to get mad at, but you can just buy her another one.

"Now I've got a whole new problem, that she KNOWS, and it's embarrassing, and I worry what she may think of me, whether she laughs at me secretly and thinks she's superior to me, like I'm just an ugly little naive child and not a grown up adult woman compared to her- and she's the YOUNGER child. I had a good time when she didn't know, and I could act like I wasn't. Now that's gone completely." You should really see a psych...this is not normal thinking. I know my brother has had more sex than me (he lost his at 14 and he's two years YOUNGER than me) but I would never imagine he would laugh at me for that. I can't imagine any sibling laughing at their brother or sister for not getting "enough action". That's not normal thinking at all.

I don't know exactly what you told her but guilt tripping your sister by reminding her about her past sexual abuse is a horrible thing to do right before her birthday.

And why on earth would you want to move out just because your mom made some rude remark about an Adele song? Really?

Do you have a psych? I would seriously suggest that you bring this up to your doctor, because none of this makes sense and it doesn't make you seem like a nice person at all.