I have had this conversation at least 4 times before. The online DVD club requires that every month the DVD be declined otherwise it is sent....& then would have to be returned. We do not have money for frivilous things like DVD's.

I tell my husband that I want him to get end his membership in the DVD club & that if he wants, he can rejoin after we are separated....when I am not financially responsible for what he does. I am met with basically a grown up tantrum......telling me that I am totally controlling & being unreasonable because he has always taken the time each month to decline the DVD of the month.

I respond with the fact that time should be spent packing up the house & cleaning to get it ready for sale & so I can get my things moved to my home in KY & that it isn't reasonable to have to worry each month about having to delince something that is never going to be purchased anyway....it is waisting time that can be better spent.

Then I get the explaination that he has already earned credits towards money off on future purchases. However when I confront him about that, asking how soon they expire anyway & that he won't be in a position to purchase anything before then anyway, he does agree that they won't be valid that long......but there goes off the tantrum again as he storms off out of my room. He just can't justify the membership but it is just something he just has to have.

This is one of the huge reasons we are going to be separated after 32 years of marriage. He is still a child about handling monitary responsibilities & I just can't put up with it anymore. After the first time I confronted him about it, I ended up just letting it slide. The second time, the same thing. The third time, the same thing. This time, I am more angry & said that if he didn't end the membership, I would get onto the computer & do it myself after having asked & talked to him nicely so many times. To me it's a matter of simplifying life so that I don't always have to worry about getting involved in something I don't want or can't have anyway. It seems that he is holding on to it because it's the only way he can try & show his independence....only he is just showing how childish he is rather than how mature he needs to be.....(mind you, he is 55 years old).

I know I could just give in, but that is what I have done for 32 years of marriage....I have always let him have his way & have been burned too many times because he just has to have something because it's there.

I hate it when someone fights over something that has no value at the time & can easily be returned to when they are on their own in the future.

This relationship is so exhausting.....I can't wait until it is over with...wonder if I can survive it that long?

Debbie