Thanks so much for the replies and the insight. I am scared to death to do this, everytime I see her she is so scared and lonely and angry that I don't think she is going to let anyone in. I abondoned her 30 years ago. It is wierd now that I realize why I see her in there, everytime someone would start talking about our childhood(sibs) or friends would ask about it, I was always in that room, always sitting in the corner, always daytime, orange and white room, with orange and white numbered curtains, I was only ever safe during the day in that house, and I would always hide away in my room. That is how I always have seen myself, even before the memories of abuse came back, and the disclosure. She would never look at me, or talk or anything, I became so good at painting a picture of my family that I believed I had, the picture I would create in my head during the abuse, that was what I believed my life was, now it is like the picture was blacked out, there is only a little girl left in a room alone!! Tomorrow is going to come, whether I want it to or not for this session......I want so bad to deaden the pain......I am trying so hard to not go there!!!!!