Give yourself permission to sleep and cry all you need to.

SSD, get the ball rolling when you are able. They will deny you straight up. Then get a lawyer and appeal. There is no lawyer fee unless you win and then it is like 25% of back pay or $6000 whichever is less. It is worth it. Long and often frustrating process but once I had a hearing with the admin judge she was very fair and understanding. The law is in your favor at that point. Get all your medical records and make sure the lawyer has them all. I mean all of them going back as far as possible. Try to document how it has effected your work over your life.

Sorry you don't need to worry about that now. Just detox and staying sober is all that matters.