I so want a hug from you occasionally but more realistically a hand on the shoulder or something. It feels really artificial, sometimes, to share these really personal and painful things with you, and to not touch in some way. I don't know if it's because I have touch issues or you have touch issues I don't know about or what the hell is going on. If I said something, would it change things? But I won't, because if I said something and you STILL didn't want to ever touch me it would feel awful. But you did touch me, two weeks ago, by accident, on the shoulder...so I am not sure about this at all.

Also, thank you for caring enough to listen and read the things I write. I'm glad I can have the writing outlet and that helps so much for days/times when we cannot talk.