I think self love and a sense of worth comes from how we treat ourselves mainly.

Certainly hearing it from others and others mirroring us, healthy relationships, helping others is very healing and powerful but at the end of the day I am looking at myself in the mirror.

I was very shame based for a long time. I can't really say how much of it came from childhood or from my own behaviors I was ashamed of or from the depression itself. The depression for sure had a lot to do with it because when I am depressed I can't live up to the expectations of others and that makes me very ashamed.

One of the most loving things I ever did for myself was to give myself permission to be who I am. Actually that was prompted by a group of people who actually did accept me exactly as I was. No judgement. It had never occurred to me to give myself permission to be depressed. To accept myself as I was while also having a desire to change.

If I make a list each day of what I did for myself, acts of self love, it can change my outlook somewhat.

I brushed my teeth. Holy crap good job.
I actually took a shower. Holy crap good job.
I called in my prescriptions and picked them up. That is huge.
I posted in this forum.
I answered a post in this forum.
I did some shoveling in the driveway.

Then a list of things I could have done differently that were maybe not in my best interest.
The focus here is to forgive myself for messing up. I am human. I am a work in progress. Rome wasn't built in a day. It's ok to mess up. Can I take a detached non-judgmental view of myself, my thoughts, feelings, and actions, and then try to make a small improvement in one area or another. Tomorrow is another day. Give myself credit for even having the awareness to look at these things and have a desire to improve.