The session was sort of good. We talked about the email and my anger and also about other feelings.
About my email; she said it had upset her and she was a bit hurt by it. She couldn't just let it go like that, leave her thoughts/feelings about it at work. It was hard for me to hear that, I had to cry, I felt so bad. I already felt bad, I felt I was a bit to harsh for someone who tries to help me the best she can as a T. But I'm also ''glad'' she told me. I wanted a bit more honesty, not just about my email, but about everything in therapy. Not only hearing her as a T, but also what she personally thinks. I know therapy ahould be about your feelings, but in some situations it can help to hear about T's thought. At least for me. Especially when it's about her and me.
She could understand that I wanted a little bit more ''human'' and not only T. She said that sometimes it must feel a bit unfair that I tell lots of personal things while I know almost nothing from the person sitting across from me.
This I also told her; from my experiences, from what I've seen/heard in therapy, it seems like my T's are never touched or something. So I feel like T's have learned to not take things a clients say personally. That they can sort of shut their feelings and that they can leave their work at work and don't think/worry about clients outside of work. T said it was kind of true, because when you take everything with you, you can't keep dong your job as a T. You will get a burn-out. And I get that, but sometimes it feels to me like they don't really care.

There were other things discussed. What felt good to hear was that she does thinks differently about a client she has had for years, like me and a client she only has for about 3 months. That an email like this does more to her when it comes from me, who has been her client for years, then when it would come from a client she has only known for about 3 months or something.
She said she's trying her best to help with this transition, not only because she's my T, but also because she's thinks it's important. She wants me to see getting ''better'', and she doesn't only want that because she's my T, but she as a person wants that. It felt good to hear that.
She also said that she would never leave me.

I know actions say more than words, but it's also good to hear it being said. What I see is that she's a good T and she tries to do her work good. But that doesn't say that she really cares about me. Just that she's doing her job like she should do. Like, I can act kind/polite to people and those people might think I like them, but I actually don't like them at all. So it is good to also hear her say it.

I can always send her emails, but we agreed I won't send angry emails like that anymore, because it isn't nice for her and it's also not nice for me.
After that session I didn't felt anger like I did after all the sessions since she told me her news. I also haven't felt much anger or other strong feelings since yesterday. I do feel a bit low and I really really don't like it that she's leaving, but at least my feelings aren't so out of control.