alex.. i'm sorry i don't understand the academics of psychology, nor much of the references and terms you use... but from talking with you, listening to you and reading your posts, i can't help but think it's avoidance that you're seeking by not doing ftf, rather than deeper intimacy through disembodied communication. The way you write it overtly suggests you know this. i am sorry that ftf is so hard for you.

i'm sorry you're feeling sick too. Feel better soon.