Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
I don't see why pregnancy wouldn't be a wrench for many clients. Not only does it mean maternity or paternity leave and time off for the therapist, but it means the therapist now has a major distraction in their life, plus a new person in it that the client may be jealous of.
The nature of this job is that sometimes clients have issues with therapists' life journeys. I think therapists should be more aware of this. This therapist to me has been doing everything professionally, but doesn't seem to have understood that her pregnancy could elicit strong emotions in clients. I'm kind of glad Chummy told her.
And I think it is a good idea to ask any future therapists about planned extensive time off. Not just those who are of childbearing age and their spouses, but anyone close to retirement age, say, or you might find out the therapist takes a lot of vacations.
|
Chummy's already been through one pregnancy with this therapist. She knows she has a daughter. Her therapist already has that distraction to start with. This isn't really about the pregnancy or the baby. It is about Chummy feeling like she's not a priority.
Of course Chummy should be open with her therapist about her feelings, but Chummy also needs to realize that there is a reality in life that life just isn't always particularly predictable and that any therapist, doctor, coworker, etc. can be called away for a variety of reasons. No one can promise they won't be called away, nor can anyone with any real accuracy predict when or if that will happen all the time.
Her therapist isn't abandoning her even if it feels that way. Her therapist has other therapists who are available for Chummy during this time. Of course that isn't the same, but that's the reality of the situation. Chummy has the option to find a completely new therapist if this is unacceptable for her, but I don't think that is what she wants to do. She's upset right now because of the impending break they are going to have to take -- rightfully so. But it isn't something the therapist can change for Chummy, so Chummy is going to have to reach a place of acceptance of the situation. She's not there yet, but she'll get there and find a way to manage with another therapist during the break perhaps or maybe she'll handle things on her own for a few month.
Chummy, I know this is hard for you because you feel like your therapist did this TO you and doesn't care about you. But I suspect you really know differently. Your therapist has worked with you a long time. You know she cares and you know this pregnancy is not about you at all; it is about your therapist making life choices for her own happiness and future. You know that. I hope you can find a way to get beyond the fear and anger and work on what your options are for the coming months. You can make positive decisions about if to see someone else in the meantime and if so, who to see. You can make positive decisions about how to manage your anxiety, how to see this situation through in the coming months, whether to return to this therapist or whether to change therapists altogether.